JUST GRIN AND YELL IT

FROM COUCH POTATO TO MOUSE POTATO

TV was never my "term for recreation". I don't really watch TV until I came here to the US. Working in America could be so stressful more than I thought it would be worse than working in my own country. So I started to to seek for recreation. I noted and realized that I started to watch a little more of TV when it was manifested through trying to beat the clock to nab the time to watch my favorite home make-over shows on HGTV and game shows such as Jeopardy and Merv's Crossword Game after each day's grind. As soon as I got home, I changed and plopped right onto the couch and flipped the remote control. But I thought that was just all there to it.

The computer is more tempting to me---an irresistible bait to avoid going outside the cold weather. Because of our long winter, the more I stay inside and the more I get so terribly hooked with the net. In cyberspace, I can do a lot of things and even be interactive with it. With TV, despite over 300 channels, I just have a few choices. So, I stay home and linger on the net for what it seems to be endless hours all  day. There were times I forget or ignore my grumbling stomach. Only when I check the time would I realize I had never eaten.

The case is different with my husband. As for him, the only thing we don't share together is his "method of relaxation". After a stressful day, he chills out on the couch in front of a TV with a remote control beside him and a guitar on both hands. But the shows he watched I thought they were crap --well, except for some sit-coms like That 70's Show, King of Queens, 24,  Will and Grace, and CSI: Las Vegas  which we all watch together. All the others are rubbish. But he watches them anyway and while he's on them, I go online. He calls me "mouse potato" and I tease him "couch potato". Fortunately, there are still good movies that we can watch on pay-TV or watch in theaters. But it takes a lot much longer time to decide what we're going to watch together because we don't really have the same tastes in movies.

But things had changed.

Lost is a TV series which I started to watch together with my husband in 2004. Lost is an action-packed drama that brings about the very best and the very worst about the survivors of a plane crash trapped and lost in an island. It is so addictive. Heartwarming, engaging and reality-suspending. But because I used to miss a lot of the Lost episodes on the 2nd and 3rd Season, I begged my husband to buy me the DVD sets when they came out. Now I have all the 3 sets ---from the 1st season to the 3rd season. (The 4th season is being aired currently). Since I have the DVD's, my eyes are constantly glued on boob tube.

Then there's the Boston Red Sox. When the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004, I became an instant fan. A game I never thought I would like had become my post-teenage fascination. My husband says I'm getting worst because  as the Baseball Season has just recently started I'm now  becoming more as a rabid fan as one could get. It's not a fascination anymore but an obsession. I watch every game the Red Sox plays and I'm entirely aware that sometimes my enthused fanaticism can become apparently beside myself. But fear not, that only happens when I watch their games.

But that doesn't mean it just ends there. I cheer and leap for joy and excitement so wildly ala-Tom Cruise on Oprah,  every time they score or get a homerun. If that is not enough, I bought tickets for 2 games at the Fenway Park in Boston to witness the Red Sox beat the Yankees. I bought all the Red Sox yearbooks and I just recently purchased the 2008 yesterday. I ordered a Red Sox  tank top and a couple more headwear. I  even have been imagining crafty devious ways to get my favorite players to sign autographs for me----like Manny Ramirez, Jonathan Papelbon, David Ortiz, Curt Schilling, Jacoby Ellsbury and Josh Beckett.

I hope all of these would just stop. I don't think it is good to watch too much TV. Or even spend too much time online. Or rhapsodize too much about the Red Sox. But then I guess, I am not harming myself nor anyone else either. Spending time together with my husband watching TV shows we both enjoy makes us a nudge closer than ever. The time I spent online anyway, is for several purposes---research for business leads and ideas, reconnect with friends and family, renew my creativity and re-learn some old things in new ways. One great  thing I relearned is ---like spending quality time together doesn't mean going out together ---because it can happen in simple, mundane things that you can do at home---like, being both couch potatoes together.

GPS --IT'S FREE, COME AND GET IT

It was a rainy Friday late afternoon that we had to drive to Maryland from New York. Ordinarily, Friday afternoons are just typically rush-hour madness, but this time, the whole northeast side of the USA was drenched . Rain just kept pouring so heavily causing snarls along the highways and parkways, along with the dreaded automobile breakdowns. My husband was frustrated at the pace we’re moving, (about 15/mph) and I could hardly believe that after 45 minutes, he had just driven about 2 miles. He figured that at the rate we were driving, we would reach our destination at 1:00 the following morning. The time was 4:30 p.m. He then suggested a detour. But how could we detour when we don’t know where to turn to avoid that horrendous traffic jam? He only knew a few exits that could turn in to the major highway (which is I-95) leading to Maryland. And how would we know if that exit is jammed or not. And if it is, we’re back to the same sad story.

So we decided to turn back around and have dinner before we hit the road. We would be giving ample time to wait until the traffic would let up. As we were having dinner, I asked my husband if we could buy a navigation system . I’d been bugging him to buy a GPS for 2 years but wouldn’t budge because he found it too expensive then. Mapquest is no longer reliable but sadly, to tell the truth, is unreliable, outdated and so 90’s. Two years ago, an ordinary navigation system is $1,000. Now, anyone could purchase a simple GPS for $100.00.
I told him that I found one at Costco for $299.00 for a Magellan Maestro 4250. We dashed to Costco right after dinner and got the GPS. There was no software to program nor confounding how-to installation directions. All we did is to plug it into our car charger and right there and then, it’s ready to use.

What’s so amazing about this device, particularly this model, are its features. It’s voice command-controlled hence hands-free. It has integrated live traffic functionality, advising you of the road condition before you make the detour and it reroutes you to an alternate available route. It’s rechargeable while on drive and has extra features that lists addresses of nearby restaurants, hotels, gas stations and more. It even includes maps of Puerto Rico and Canada.
(I wanted to buy for myself but I don’t drive much except to work and to malls around our town of which I can navigate even while blindfolded. I don’t drive long distance not more than 15 miles radius from my home). My Lovey needs this more as his preoccupation with his numerous music gigs and guitar-teaching jobs require him to travel around New York and Connecticut frequently.

Ever since we had the Magellan Maestro, we totally enjoyed our rides, even to places where we have no idea where we were. It’s so cool because we never get lost nor stressed how we would ever get our way through. Even if we make a mistake or do a wrong turn, it will instruct us to detour to another alternative route that would lead us to our destination. And if we don’t realize we’re lost, it will still tell us to turn into a detour giving us a hint that we’re not on the right road. Mistakes are not scored and errors don’t account for a wrong destination. The GPS will just lead us to where we should go , no matter how many wrong turns or exits we have entered into. How soo-weet is that!

This reminds me of our God---our God who has nothing but good for us. He leads us to go to the right path where we should go so we can attain His promises, His goodness and His blessings.

There were countless times I had been in dire straits and I tried to go through all of them alone. I tried to seek solace among friends but my friends were just listening. I didn’t want my family to know and so who else would I go to? No one, I thought. So, I tried to manage it myself---tried to take care of the burdens myself all alone until I was tired, weary and lost. I didn’t know where to go or how to go through except to pretend that it’s not there. It’s like driving on a road that I don’t know where it leads to because I didn’t know where I was going, and tried pretending that I knew where I was going.

Then one day, I received a forwarded email that says “ Your Word is a Lamp upon my feet and a Light upon my path”. (Psalm 119: 105).  The message struck me for it was such a long time I had not even sought to God or read my Bible. As soon as I thanked God for the message and prayed for his guidance, instant peace overwhelmed with a greater knowledge and assurance that God will lead me to a place where I could overcome and hurdle past through my difficulties. Even the realization comforted me so much because I just knew He would never leave me but instead will always direct my steps through His Word (the Bible) to where I should go. God is my Navigator. But we should know that when God positions us in his strategy through his GPS (God's Positioning Strategy), we are in for pleasant surprise that we never had imagined that could happen to our lives.
Sometimes, God wouldn’t reveal his plans to us, or our destinations as He navigates us to a place where we can rest. All we have to do is trust Him, cast his cares upon Him and thank Him for His faithfulness. We should never worry about where we end up in because if we follow the path of God, we know that it’s good and nothing and no one can be against us. George Bernard Shaw once said, “There are two tragedies in life; one is not to get what your heart desires and the other, is to follow it.” There is truth in that, but we are given choices—the choice that what we desire is approved and directed by God, or the choice to follow the path that doesn’t include God. The latter is consequently awfully tragic.
If we involve God in our lives, we are assured that matter how many wrong turns we make, how many times we fail Him and how many “bad” places we mistakingly go, God will always faithfully direct us which road to go. Sometimes we may feel like we’re just in a middle of an ocean with a raging storm looming over, however, if we allow God to direct us, there is no fear treading even in those waters. He is our infallible Navigator in life…..our trusted Guide and of course our Comforter when we get weary traveling a long road or even the deepest sea or even the fiercest storm.
Although God doesn’t assure us that the ride is going to be a smooth one, He assures us that when we get through bumps, He will always be there to with us. Even if we ran out of gas and would probably fall off from the ride because of those hard bumps, He is there to lift us up and pick us up and push us to get going. Also, don’t doubt God why He takes you in such situations or circumstances that you don’t want to be in. He did not lead you there to crush you but instead to strengthen you and revive you. Like the places where we didn’t know, we didn’t doubt our Magellan Maestro because we knew that it would take us to our “right” destination. We didn’t try to understand what the Magellan was doing because it involves more than smashing this expensive item to find out what’s wrong with the microchip.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

I know this is difficult because most oftentimes, we are just lost. Or some of us don’t know where to go to or what path to take. We cannot rely on other people, who just like us, are fallible and can make more mistakes than we do. Or sometimes, we just feel like we want to get out of a terrible circumstance. We need to be reminded that God’s Word is our guide---our accurate, reliable, infallible, trusted and reliable Navigation system. The first thing we should do is to read our Bible. The Bible is the Word of God. His Word is our GPS.—our Navigation System. Trust His Word with all of your heart and you will see how awesome God is.
What are you waiting for? Get it now. It is free. It is available to anyone. God wants us to have it, that’s why His hands open to welcome us and have His GPS for free. That’s not a gimmick. That’s not hype. It is true. It is proven. How soo-weet is that !

Psalm 23: 1-4
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
3 He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

WHEN I SAY "HUH", YOU SAY "DUH"

You probably know when people retort back to you sighing “Duh?”, they mean they are annoyed, irritated and disdained by the banality and obvious stupidity of a self-evident remark you just uttered.

Funny as it may sound, I’d say to myself “Duh?” at those eureka moments in my life when I finally learned something I thought I knew only to find out it’s not what I thought of what actually it is or what it should be.

And saying “Huh?” most of the times can often apparently lead to “Duh?” Which is exactly my point in this post. I’d ask “Huh?” and some would say “Duh?” Huh? Duh? Duh? Huh?

It goes back to the American English language experiences I have had here. “Huh? What d’ya say?” brings it on again because the never-ending journey of learning the English language has now become an “exciting sojourn” for me.

I will share to you how those moments were;

1) UNTIL NOW---Filipinos coming to America may find this phrase creating misunderstanding to Americans. This is because of the usage of this phrase, which literally translated to Filipino means, “Hanggang ngayon”., meaning the “action /verb is still /currently ongoing as of this time”. Americans “until now” means the exact opposite. “Until now” to Americans means that the “action/verb has stopped/terminated/ceased as of this time.”

To Filipinos, when you say, " I'm very angry until now" means that "you are still angry" as to this moment. You are still "currently angry". To Americans, when you say the same , "I'm angry until now", it means that "you are not angry anymore as to this moment, " or "your anger has subsided or ceased to exist at this moment."

My colleagues and bosses at work, somehow confused whenever I used that phrase but they were gentle enough to confirm my statements, “You mean to say she stopped growing? Or did you mean she is still growing?” I thought I wasn’t just clear in speaking or I was just talking rapidly. Little did I know that “until now” connotes a different meaning to them. I learned from my husband that I just spoke of the contrary. Mind you, he said, “Duh?”

2) CLOCK IS FAST --I’ve first heard this from my husband.

Me: We gotta hurry…we’re late!

Hubby: No, we’re not.

Me: Look it’s 10:30, it’s late

Hubby: Clock is fast.

Me: Yea, that’s why we need to rush.

Hubby: No, I mean that’s not the actual time. It’s just 10:00. I set the time 30 minutes earlier. I set the clock fast.

Me: Huh?

Hubby: I set the clock fast. It’s only 10:00

Me: Oh you mean, the clock is advanced? So the time is advanced?

Hubby: Yea. The clock is fast.

Me: Oh the clock is advanced not fast.

Hubby: But that’s what I mean. The clock is fast.

Me: Huh? You Americans say the clock is fast and not advanced?

Hubby: Duh?

Don’t set your clock advanced. Set it fast, you’ll get there early.

3) I’M STARVING-- translated to Filipino, “Mamatay na ako sa gutom” Americans still say “I’m hungry” but almost all the time, they gripe like their famished victims of famine, “I’m starving.”

It’s funny and ironical at the same time, here in the land of plenty ---(and I mean plenty and plenty of food) habitats around here, often go “perishing ” from hunger. When I hear them saying this, I just roll my eyes and think of the people back home who are really actually starving.

So what would people in Africa say? “I’m dying”, perhaps?

4) HOW ARE YOU? – Americans with their social –conditioning to grow up “nice and friendly individuals” assert “warmness and being well-disposed” as virtuousness. Filipino socio-cultural values establish “respect , benevolence and courtesy” as the most important aspects of virtuousness and morality.

That is why the greeting “how are you” may not evoke or convey the same wavelength of intensity of emotions between an American and a Filipino. To them, “how are you” even to strangers reflect their understanding of “respect” and “being well-disposed” to one another. To us, Filipinos, that may come off as a little bit coming too strong. We don’t say “Kamusta” to strangers. Afterall, we don’t know them and not knowing them calls us to just respect them or say nothing when they say nothing. However, Americans find “how are you” as a blatant expression of showing “niceness , benevolence and respect”. When the stranger shots back, a nicety, it means the stranger acknowledges the “respect”.

Like one time, I was in a grocery counter and the lady in the cash register said, "How are you today?" I did not answer her, instead I just stood there wondering why this lady is concerned about what I feel today. That's not her business. Why would I tell her what I feel? So, I never said any word. I went back to my "boss" and I told her about that incident. "You're supposed to answer her".
"Why should I?" I muttered.
"Well, it's not courteous to say nothing when they ask and greet you how are you."
A few years later, my husband explained this to me. Being a Filipino doesn't mean I have to reject their "definition of courtesy." Afterall, I'm a minority here.

Being a Filipino , I still could not easily express “How are you?” to strangers. To me , they are still strangers and should never spoken to unless necessary.

So what d’ya say now? Maybe you have something to share too about the English language. I would love to hear it . Until now, I am dazed. Or is it until now or until now?

Huh ? Duh?

I'M LIKE SUPERMAN BACK IN KRYPTON

I admit I am not a looker . The striking good looks I dream and most men crave are not what I am blessed with. Thus I’m not a looker--- a looker enough to catch second glances and draw “ohs and ahs” from men. Nor women would find me a source of insecurity. Not even staring at me for a long time would elicit some kind of physical admiration. On the day when God bestowed beauty on mankind, I guess I wasn’t there, probably dozing in deep slumber. My mother thinks I’m beautiful, and so too my husband. Well, best friends included. But others, would just gently and politely say, “Oh you are photogenic!” Yes indeed, I look darn good in pictures. I know that as much as I know there are also “backagenic, fargenic, sidegenic and hairgenic.” LOLZ!

But I think otherwise, because if I obsess over it, I go into total lunacy like this woman I’ve heard of who have 47 facial surgeries by the time she was 29 because she thinks she was a monstrosity. Now she looks like the “real” female counterpart of Marilyn Manson or a Pete Burns transvestite-look-alike.

Feeling ko maganda ako. Kahit feeling lang, I think it’s good to feel beautiful. This mental reconditioning is based on Rene Descartes’ tenet of existentialism, “I think therefore I am” ….virtually translated to me as “I think I am beautiful, therefore I am beautiful.”

As I’ve said before, my husband thinks I am beautiful. Of course, he is my husband. He ‘d be blinded by my facial flaws and imperfections because I clouded them with so much of my wit, sweetness, honesty, niceness and intelligence. (I can be sometimes modest but at most times cocky). But on the first time we met, he had the widest toothy grin in the world. He said he was happy to see one of the prettiest girls he ever saw. Hahahaha!!! Pick-up lines? He said they were not and I believed him. I know my man enough to find him insincere or not. Later, I realized that indeed he did find me comely.

So he was quite surprised when I told him that Filipinos in my home country and even in America call me “ugly” and ruthlessly teased me with so many derogatory names. He find it hard to believe but later on believed me when I cried recalling those times when I had to bear the ridicules.

I didn’t write this post to solicit sympathies or opinions that express that I look neither what I think or others think. I am blogging about this as I am reminded by my husband’s wit. He tells me I’m hot and beautiful. But I disapproved. I told him that in the Philippines, people actually call me the opposite—ugly. Then he said, “Well, you are Superman here…..like Superman, he loses his power in Krypton, his home planet.” That was funny. And also that was so sooo-weet.

When I go back to the Philippines , I will absolutely lose my “powers of grace, beauty and charm” just as Superman loses his physical strength and metaphysical powers on his home planet, Krypton. Just as a shard of the kryptonite rock from his planet can surely decimate whatever magic and power inherent in his super- being, I instantaneously drop all my “powers of grace, beauty and charm” within the company of a single Filipino.

Just as whenever I am with Filipinos, the “physical beauty” that Americans find in me suddenly dissipates amidst the company of my countrymen. Filipinos do not behold me as pretty in their sights.

I have dark skin, which is why I was cruelly teased in grade school as “negrita from the mountain.” Much worse, I grew up developing a low self-esteem because of the way I look. I have a long face and I had buck-teeth…all protruding. Oh my, I really looked disgusting. To top it all, I had coarse thick hair that resembles the younger Michael Jackson’s ‘do. I had to summon the bullies at grade school to meet me for a fight match after dismissal time at the back yard of our classroom. At such a young age, I knew what “bitter torment” feels like. I learned how to fight off these brats but deep inside me I felt so much pain in my heart being smashed to smithereens.

Growing up was an ordeal in my planet , Krypton . It was literally difficult. So I had my teeth done and wore orthodontic braces. I constantly soaked myself with Etta bleach and Likas Papaya soap. My hair changed a bit. They were still thick but not coarse and fluffy anymore and I guess that was the one good thing. But because I have a long face, I often hear Filipinos say I look like Ai-ai delas Alas. I repeat, oftentimes. My close friends have a softer heart; to them, I resemble Imee Marcos. Some jokingly call me “Ai-ai-mee Marcos”. LOL!

But also such a young age, I realized another strategy could divert their attention away from my physique. I was to show them how brilliant I am. I didn’t just read books, study , or get the deserved academic recognition, I even tooted my own horns. People told me I could march at my own beat of my own drums. Sadly, because of the resentment against people who humiliated me, I grew a pair of horns on my head. I fought like evil because of the deep-seated insecurity I have had for years. Nerves were easily frayed and the sensitive alarms were so fragile. I only made a few friends. To my young mind, even if I were nice, they still see a monster. I grew to be the aggrieved sourpuss. Good thing, I have changed. Changed to be a better person when one day I realized the truth in the Bible, “We are wonderfully made by God.” Beauty is relative.

Well, who could blame Filipinos for their “ concept of beauty”? It’s the society itself permeated by images that construe and misconstrue beauty. Filipinos adore women with white or milky skin. Thus, the appalling obsession of “whitening products” in our country. I was even shocked when I heard that Filipino women actually take “whitening pills” internally. How desperate is that. Everywhere, Filipinos in our country are being exposed to images of white –skinned women who are pursued, admired and loved by men and women. Last year, during my vacation, I overheard one Manilena said to her friend, “Isn’t she ugly? She is just maputi but her face is scary.” The friend said back to her, “Ok na yan, basta maputi , carry na yan sa mga lalaki, maganda na sya sa paningin kasi maputi sya.” I was about to sigh audibly.. Or groan in disgust. I did not see the girl they were looking at but my reactions were more directed to the truth of how trite the world of Filipinos could be when exposed to wrong ideals.

Filipinos also adore women with rounded and/or oval shaped faces. Other than those shapes, Filipinos will find you unappealing and badlooking. My face–shape is elongated or of an inverted triangle. Such face shapes can be found on Sarah Jessica Parker, Heidi Montag, Haylee Duff, Carrie Underwood, Reese Witherspoon, etc. In my own planet of Krypton, people call me “Babalu” but in this country, USA, they really don’t care about the face-shape as long as your face-shape and symmetry all work together, they find you beautiful.

I also observed that the Filipinos generally tend to show more affection and react more positively to women who have soft features. One example is Angel Aquino, a fashion mannequin turned actress. A group of Filipino guys I overheard in a restaurant were talking about Angel Aquino’s movie. One of them said, “Hindi naman sya maganda. Di ba model sya, hindi artista? “ Then one guy seconded the motion, “Oo nga, maraming models na pangit ano…di kailangan maging maganda para maging model .” Then another guy said, “ Mahaba kasi ang mukha.” And they all laughed in ribald unison. For the love of God, I stopped myself from standing up from where I sat and wanted to berate them right there and then. “Hey guys, what planet did you come from?” Or better yet, “What hole did you come from?”

Angel Aquino’s face is oval with high cheekbones ideal for model’s faces. She also has striking eyes that are deep. These facial characteristics are categorized as “strong” in comparison to soft features like of “ Donita Rose” and “Bea Alonzo”. I think, when facial features are conveying a strong presence or impact, they pose a threat to a Filipino man’s ego. “Parang mukhang matapang.” Generally, Filipino men are not attracted to the concept of feminism. They are threatened, challenged and scared of losing their social status quo. They are horrified by the idea of being p---whipped. I think most Filipino men are still traditionally resisting the influences of “girl power”. As my BFF said, “Mga Pinoy na lalaki, ayaw pa-ander yan kasi gusto nila sila pa rin masusunod kahit mali sila. Nakakabawas ng pagkalalaki nila pag ang babae na matapang ang dating sa mukha pa lang.”

But now I,  Superman is on Planet USA. My imperfections and horrid facial features suddenly become “beautiful” in America. I find myself in a whole new world---my powers suddenly emerging. Overturning my low self- esteem as well as my beat-up psyche, I finally have been reveling in a new state of confidence and a whole lot of moxie. People here find me pretty, even beautiful. They love the color of my skin, my physique, my cheekbones, and the length of my face. A long oval face in a woman seems to indicate “power and sensuality” among Americans. Look at the celebrity stars Americans admire …those women I have mentioned above, Sarah Jessica Parker, Hillary Swank, Carrie Underwood, Reese Witherspoon, Heide Montag, Hillary Duff, Jennifer Garner among others.

I get admiring glances and pretty much dating invitations from American men. They like me. Men and women alike love the color tan or the “dark brown skincolor I have” which they call “bronze”. They associate this bronze color as the color of “health” and “luxe.” They spend a whole lot of bucks to get this color----a color that conveys “Hey, I’m pretty damn hot”. They go to tanning salons and buy their own at-home tanning beds. Self-tanning lotions and bronzing powders are total sellouts in the American beauty industry. Paleness of the skin, or skin devoid of color looks “sickly and feeble”, according to their terms.

But there are still some idiotic Filipinos who think that desperate American men adore “ugly Asians”. I don’t know what to do ---either bawl or barf. How shallow-minded our countrymen are. I know somebody whom I thought was my friend telling me that only desperate ugly Filipino women marry American men. She must be coming from an a- hole or was stuck in a time warp. Maybe  she thinks Patricia Javier, G Toengi and Melanie Marquez are desperate ugly women marrying desperate American men.

But now it doesn’t really matter. To me they have nothing between their ears, or must be either darn dumdum. So what if I am not beautiful in Filipino’s eyes. My world doesn’t spin around them.

Now if any piece of the Krypton rock come near my body, I know I will still lose my powers, charms and strength. But I know there are those people who love me no matter how I look and I am totally aware that God has created me wonderfully for a meaningful purpose. Probably helping all the dolts regain intelligence in my planet Krypton.

Now, Superman wants to fly back to Krypton.

IF YOU MUST CURSE, USE YOUR OWN NAME---SAYS GOD

KEEP USING MY NAME IN VAIN, I'LL MAKE RUSH HOUR LONGER---SAYS GOD

I came across this site "www.godspeaks.com" which is purported to spread campaigns around the USA about God's messages...as if God speaks to you personally. They are also encouraging people to buy and erect billboards in their towns by purchasing their designs.
I came across a message that incited me to stop and think about how we carelessly blurt words from our own mouths that are defaming God.
People today as purveyed by media have deemed it acceptable to use the name of God in "vain". Movies, TV shows and even musical lyrics explicitly makes use of cursing through utterly lambasting God's name to convey even disparaging sentiments and violent and promiscuous emotions. I have to turn off the TV or the audio player when I hear the words , "F...ng Christ". That is ridiculously over-the-top and most disturbing.
Is it so easy to lambaste Jesus just like that despite the love and mercy He offered and bestowed on us? Does Jesus' name deserve that type of "glorification" instead of praise and exaltation of His name because of His faithfulness, goodness, patience, love and forgiveness?
Why God's name? God provides, heals, comforts, calms and loves. Hence, God's name signifies all goodness. Instead, we should spend some quiet time each day thanking Him, blessing Him and praising Him for what He has done for us and for who He is---mighty, holy and worthy of all our praise.

"You shall not take the name of Jehovah your god in vain. For Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain"----Exodus 20:7

HOW TO CHOOSE A MATE

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT...

CHOOSING A MATE?

We know that it is the Lord's will for people to have a mate if they desire one. In the beginning when God created Adam, God Himself made this statement:

"... It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18 KJV).

"Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, completing) for him" (Genesis 2:18 Amplified).

The Lord wants to bring a mate to those who will ask Him and have the patience to wait for His choice.

There are some single people who are constantly out looking for a mate, and they are miserable because God has not sent them one yet. They have prayed and prayed, yet they still have no mate. Some settle for Satan's provision instead of asking God for the patience to wait for the one whom He would send. If they would look to Jesus and seek to please Him, rather than being concerned about a mate, soon they would find the right one crossing their path. Looking for a man or woman to just keep them from being lonely or just to fill their needs or to be a father or mother to their children should not be the only reasons for desiring a mate. They also need to be concerned about what kind of husband or wife they would be for a mate. These single people are still much in the flesh if they just want their own needs met. They should ask the Lord to fill them with His love and peace.

Being single is an important time to prepare us for marriage. It can also be a time to experience a closer communion with God. As we seek God to cleanse us of the world and help us become the kind of wife or husband that would bless someone, we will soon find that we are not lonely. First, the Lord would begin using us to bless others; then we will find we are content in Him. Eventually, in God's plan and timing, He will bless us with a wonderful mate so that both lives can be a witness for Him. We believe if a marriage cannot glorify the Lord, then it would be better to remain alone. There are worse things than being alone. One of these is to be out of God's will by compromising and marrying someone who does not feel the same way we do about the Lord.

Marriage is the second major choice we make in our lives, and we should never enter into it without much prayer. To rush into a marriage can be disastrous. The most important decision of our lives, of course, is our decision to follow the Lord. This decision is not a one-time declaration, but a daily determination to follow Jesus above all. If we allow the emotional or soulish realm to dominate our lives we become more susceptible to the enemy leading us astray through someone. This area of the flesh should be brought under the Lord's subjection so that Satan does not get the advantage and consequently destroy our lives and ministries. So many have failed the Lord because they chose a man or woman over the Lord.

We find this true throughout the Bible, too. Solomon's heathen wives led him into idolatry. Samson lost his eyes because of a woman, Delilah. David committed murder because of passion for Bathsheba.

Our emotions need to be cleansed as they are not the sign of love. The true definition of love is "God is love." If God is not in a relationship it is not true love. What this world calls love is really lust since it is built on what the other person does for me, not what I can do for him or her. If the other person fails to keep up his end of the bargain, a divorce occurs because the offended mate is no longer pleased. This is the attitude of the world's so-called "love." God's love loves without receiving back; God's love is forgiving and patient. God's love is gentle and kind. God's love waits. God's love sacrifices.

1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible gives us a beautiful definition of real love: (In this King James translation the word "charity" means "love.")

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Man's emotions are not a reliable gauge upon which to establish a marriage relationship. We must know in the Spirit that it is God's will. It is much better to marry for character than for emotion. Emotions fluctuate; character doesn't. Emotions are in the soulish realm, and unless the carnal mind has been renewed, Satan can give us emotions or feelings of love for someone of his choosing. (If he did not have this in his power, he could not split up marriages.) One of his favorite techniques is to suddenly take away the feelings one once had for his mate and give feelings for someone else. When he has successfully convinced a person that he no longer loves his or her mate, then he leads them to divorce, whispering, "You are living a lie." After he has destroyed that marriage, he then leads one to marry again by stirring their emotions for another. Often after their next marriage something happens that they do not expect. Before too long, friction begins to develop with the new mate, then arguing. Finally, they find the same thing has happened again; they feel no emotion for their new mate and the next divorce is in the making. "Falling" in love is Satan's way. The very expression of these words should tell us something. A Christian should not blindly "fall" into any trap. Love is bigger than simply falling for someone. Certainly, the Lord gives us a wonderful emotional feeling for the one we are to marry. However, this "feeling" without God's direction can be disastrous as Satan can tamper with our emotions and feelings too.

Marriage, in a Christian's life, should be based on a decision directed by the Holy Spirit. A Christian's love for another is a commitment. Of course, the Lord will supply the emotions for the mate He sends, but that should not be the criterion for making the decision to marry. The Lord should be sought, and whatever He speaks to us we should do. He knows the future and what is best for us. If we trust Him He will not fail us in this or any other important area. Women or men who allow emotions to rule them will never be victorious Christians. Emotions should always follow, never lead.

During Old and New Testament times, fathers and mothers chose the mates for their children. God's people were very careful to choose those who were "believers." We find this practice still prevalent in India and other Eastern cultures. The parents, being older and more prudent, made wiser decisions than the children in this area. The divorce rate in India is only about 7%, whereas in the USA, at the present, it is nearing 50%. Marriages that are loveless can be saved and restored simply by asking God to restore the love that was once there. Sexual relationships can also be healed by praying for a desire for one's mate. Prayer is a mighty weapon. God's love can mend and heal, providing people are willing to lay down their lives for their mates. His love will not fade, as does the love of the world.

Those who are single and have never been married are cautioned in God's Word to seek a mate who is a like believer. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)." Many precious people suffer because they are living with unsaved mates. Some did not have Christ when they made their marriage decision, but they have since found the Lord. Those will have God's grace and love to win their mates for Jesus. The Lord always strives to bring the lost mate to Himself through the partner who knows Him. Mighty miracles of deliverance and salvation have occurred when people have endured suffering in order to bring their mates to the Lord. Those people who have the light, but choose to marry into darkness by yoking themselves to unsaved mates find that their flesh has led them away from God.

The Lord wants to bless marriage unions and see His plans fulfilled in both mates' lives. What a glorious plan He had from the beginning for both male and female. We can trust Him in this important decision. If we will totally commit to do His will we will never be disappointed in the one He sends into our lives.

FILIPINOS ARE PROTEANS

When people asked me what race I belong to, my response is somewhat visceral and sometimes plainly smug as I blurt out, “I’m Asian.” In my entire life, I think I was Asian because that’s how we were being taught in school that we are. Our country, the Philippines, obviously, although standing inconspicuously and unobtrusively, is situated on Asia.

However, people here in America have a difficult time categorizing us, Filipinos to a particular distinct race because of our varied facial features, our language and even because of our names. Filipinos, like Americans, due to mixed ethnic heritage, look different in some ways or others. But unlike Americans, questions about our ethnicity cannot be simply answered by interracial marriages and unions. Ours is more deeply rooted in our ancient history. As rich and varied as our culture, definitely , we are the only protean human species on earth. We may look Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Laotian, Spanish or Pacific Islander.

I remember there was a customer from my former job who came upfront to me and asked, “Do you mind if I ask you where are you from? What country where you come from?” I answered that I am from the Philippines. Then he smiled, “Oh, that’s why you look different from anyone else.” I wasn’t really sure what he meant but returned him another pleasant grin instead. Was I amused or bemused? Days later, he said I look Chinese but I look Mexican but I also look Polynesian. He inquired again if my parents were of mixed ethnicity and I explained to him that both of my parents are pure Filipinos but most Filipinos have mixed ancestral bloods. I then went on to discourse a little history of my native homeland. He became a good friend.

Across the street where I worked, there was this doorman of a posh Manhattan apartment building who, at like clockwork every morning before I go to work, would bow his head while he said, “Ohayo gozaimasu”. The first time he did that, I stopped like a deer on the headlights, not knowing what to say or do---if I have to respond with the same courteous gesture or say something cheeky like, “But I’m not Japanese”. Later, I would just shot him a smirk and say “Hi, how are you today?”

There were countless occasions that truly prove that Americans couldn’t figure what race I belong to. A 6- yr old child I babysat thought I was black. She said I looked like Raven in “That’s Raven”. One man in the subway station approached me and asked me if I could speak Spanish. I replied “No hablo Espanol”. He chatted more in Spanish of course as I clenched my teeth in disdain and embarrassment. Then I explained that I could only speak and understand a smidgen of his language because I am not Latino. He said I looked like one. Then one time, as I was walked down on a street, some black teenagers hollered, calling me “Chinese lady, you dropped your scarf, Chinese lady!” I retraced my steps and picked up my scarf from the ground as I thanked them---in English.

Honestly, I am quite entertained by their misjudgments thinking , “Let them guess.” What sheer delight it causes me to envision them scratching their noggins so hard and still end up discombobulated. But lately, I read numerous articles about the Filipino race penned by Filipinos themselves. First, I heard and read about that Vanessa Minnillo’s disclaimer about her ethnicity. First she admitted she was born of Filipino parents hence she’s Filipino-American. After then, she refuted such statement. She said she was just born in the Philippines but she was actually Polynesian. Respondents in a certain discussion forum about this Vanessa Minnillo’s race issue debated over this. They say she doesn’t look Filipino. (That makes me wonder, what is exactly a “typical” Filipino look?) Some say that she was just born in the Philippines and does not make her Filipino, only a Filipino citizen. There were a bunch of morons there in that discussion board, too, who, with utter disgrace dished racial remarks about Filipinos. (But that’s another story). Then there’s Jimmy Fallon who never made public about his ethnicity until a Los Angeles –based Philippine News interviewed him and finally was proud to claim his parents are Filipinos. Oh, by the way, Jimmy Fallon’s real name is Jaime Tomasito Hiligaynon de Leon Fallon. It was revealed that during the “starting days” of Jimmy’s star career, his uncle, the famed half-Filipino movie director, Dean Devlin shared a piece of mind to Jimmy that Jimmy would never reveal his ethnicity since it might cause his downfall. Jocelyn Enriquez, in order to nab a break in the recording industry first introduced herself as Latina (which she could easily pass) because producers don’t know what or how to do anything with an Asian musical artist.

Well, my story here is drifting way beyond. Oh, I now remember what I was blabbing about. Recently, I just read a lot of articles and discussions in MySpace generated by Filipinos themselves asserting “ Filipinos are Polynesians, not Asians”. There was even a group created by Filipino-Americans exclusively for Filipinos who believe they’re Polynesians. It was all about their self-confirmation that Filipinos are Polynesians because of our first inhabitants came from Polynesia. But others in another group stressed it’s wrong to assume that Filipinos are Polynesians because the islands of the Philippines lie in the Asian region, hence we are Asians. Others contested that the Spaniards are what exactly defines us into a race because of the massive social and cultural influence they have upon us that unites us into a nation, therefore we are Latinos. The discussions and articles were outrageously and ridiculously absurd, although some of them are backed up by historical facts, but still emerge pointless, inane and mostly derogatory.

But whatever, their viewpoints may seem accurate and conclusive or not, I now found myself asking the challenge I posed to others, “Let them guess”. This time, I’m saying “Let me guess.” As a Filipino, what is my race? Am I Asian? Am I Latino? Am I Polynesian?

Honestly I am not sure anymore. This time when people question me about my race, I toss them another challenge, “Well, it’s up to you . You maybe right.” Still, they tell me I look different and some would just say, “I have no idea”. One evening, my husband and I were watching early evening news on TV and the news about was the mysterious death of Maria Cruz in New York City. She was identified as Filipino but my husband did not hear that. As her photos were flashed onscreen, he turned to me and wondered, “Is she Latina? She looks Asian doesn’t she? But her last name sounds Spanish.” I answered, “Lovey, she is Asian. She is Filipina but most of us Filipinos have Spanish last names. So if you see somebody looking Asian with Spanish last names, 99 percent surely she is Filipino.” (My maiden name doesn’t sound Spanish ; it sounds Jewish) “Oh you Filipinos, you put me through a daze. So you’re Latino not Asian,” my husband chuckled. “And I thought that you were Polynesian when I first met you”, he continued.“Oh Lovey, you can call me any race you want. I don’t care. They are all right---Asian, Latino, Polynesian, Spanish. Whatever it is, I am proud, “ I said.

What race are we Filipinos? What do you think?

DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE COOL?

(Warning: this post is written in various moods) Most of us crave to look good. Not just looking good, but trying to look “cool”. Whether it is an admiring glance from the opposite sex or just plain praising sighs from others, we like to be envied and lauded by others. Gazillions of our world’s population are unconsciously becoming servile minions of the overly-hyped, yet oftentimes, lecherous and evil force of that “coolness craze”. So many people have just simply become victims of the snares of looking cool. However, it is not a sin. Only when someone pushes the trappings of coolness too far that it becomes so evil that its prey is not aware of.
 Media perpetrates images of “coolness” derived from style, fashion and youth and basically fills the void of our “emptiness” by these factors equating them to happiness and satisfaction. When we look good, we look “cool” and everything is going to be alright. Yet we are guilty of such mentality. We aim heights of its every form and contraption. Everyone of us jump into the bandwagon like a moth to a flame where the searing flames are just symbols ---that defy our purpose. We think we’re cool, but actually we’re not. Such warped trenchant ravings “I’m cool dude, I’m kewwwhhhl.” But do I really look cool? Do you really think you’re cool? I don’t know about that. You see dude, I only see you looking stupid. Take a look at you; you wear flip-flops at church! Oh my golly, you do wear your Havaianas at church. You practically wear them everywhere. To the palengke, to the mall, to school, to parties, and to Pop’s or to The Fort . You flirtatiously bat your mega-wattage fake eyelashes to your crush while wearing tsinelas? Do you really think you earn ganda points for that? It’s still tsinelas no matter what the brand is---que Havaianas, que Ipanema, que Spartan, etc. Where is that time when people exert efforts to primp themselves to go to church and preened themselves to prance around at clubs and parties? Are those times ever gonna get back? Where is the real “coolness” of being elegant through chic and stylish club garbs? It’s really such a big poser. And this leads to more queries. Why do you go wearing flipflops to church and to clubs? Flip-flops are designed for the beach; to reiterate, they are made for walking on the beach, later on built for treading around the house. Period. Nowhere else should flip-flops go. When A-list Hollywood celebs rompED around Beverly Hills shod in flip-flops, they started a trend. That was eons ago. It could only be revived if your destination is beach or grocery. However, a trend has to go when its original purpose has already captured and hit the saturation point. “T” means THROW and “R” means RETCH and what’s left is END---END of trend. I know why you would never let go of your “tsinelas” (pardon me, but Havaianas are still tsinelas to me). Maybe because you love the squishy feeling of dust on your toes and soles. You prefer people to look at your toes instead of your shoes (coz you’re not actually wearing any) and you are curious what they think about your toes. If you ask me what I think about your toes, my opinion is not about your toes. Seeing you wearing that all the time everywhere just makes me cringe. And it’s a cringe that simply states “ you really don’t look cool.” Now, what about the Crocs? Do you really think you’re cool with that? The topic of Crocs in a discussion forum has stirred a strong debate. Some pro-Crocs were enraged because the anti-Crocs hilariously despised this phenomenal footwear. I call it a phenomenon because despite of its inherently hideous physical characteristics, Crocs has gained a following---a following of people “who are striving to look cool but they don’t know that they don’t look cool at all” and who ingeniously tried to defend its visual aesthetics. To date, the fashionistas had elevated its stardom to the “Hall of ‘Fugly’ (Freaking Ugly) “ that the pro-Crocs have relentlessly and restlessly pointed out that its ultra-comfort and its ability to prevent blisters and calluses can make-up for what it lacks, which is –--“something that pleases the eye”. No offense to those who wear Crocs, but Crocs are eyesores---literally. No matter what you wear with it, it doesn’t look good on anything or on anybody. It even cheapens an outfit. So if you’ve got a P150.00 skinny jeans and you wear it with Crocs, the jeans look like it’s culled from heaps that cost “everything-here-is-under-P50.00.” I think Crocs seem to be designed by someone who was blindfolded. But people wear Crocs because they think they look cool in it. My opinion, “No dahhling, you don’t look cool. I swear, and if you don’t believe me, look again in the mirror. “ With the issue of wearing denim jackets? You look cool when it’s 20 degrees C , but above that temp, you have no license to wear it unless you want to look stupid. Man oh man, do you really think you’re cool ---you wearing that designer label denim jacket under the scorch of the air? No, I’m not jelly. I just think it’s ridiculous to clad myself with something on my body that makes me perspire all the more. My idea of comfort is not about sweat and stuffiness. But if your gauge of comfort is based on those two factors; sweat and stuffiness, by all means, you have all the right to wear denim jackets wherever and whenever you want and no matter what the temp is. But do you really wonder why people wonder why you’re wearing denim jackets in such condition? Think again or better yet, check the temperature. In one variety show, a teenybopping starlet was seen donning faux fur trimmed denim jacket. My brother said, “Well, it’s cold inside the studio.” But how cold? Like 10 degrees C? Those who love to flaunt their velour and fleece Juicy Couture track suits and hoodies are also sub-categories of this foolishly maddening mania with some of them guiltlessly hopping around with their tushes emblazoned with “Juicy”. The women are playing clueless but the men are playing up their imaginations about what’s so juicy. But the point is, do track suits, hoodies and denim jackets belong in air-conditioned habitations? Others whipsnapped that you just wear denims and Juicy under air-conditioned rooms. Maybe that could pass up “under such condition”. Undeniably, there are still a numerous lot who are haplessly suffering the heat, but they just keep mum about it. Why? They want to look cool. Maybe they do or maybe they’re just stupid. And if you really think you’re cool just because you think you’re sexy ---then the first thing you should bear in mind is the definition of “what really is sexy”. Sexy can become cool but sexy can be confused by desperation-laden minds with the contraptions of “slutty”. You see a lot of girls (STILL) these days displaying their butts and not only their butts, but the cavernous cracks that are horribly clamoring for cover. But the wearers don’t want to cover. They love to flaunt them off. You see they are boggled. They may think showing their thongs are way too cool that it gets attention from onlookers. Yes it does generate attention, but it also hatches the WRONG kind of attention. These thongs that should have been cremated and its ashes dispersed in the Mediterranean Sea are still being relived by victims and purveyors of SLUTTY fashion. Why bother to cover up when you want to show your cracks? If you want to show off your thong, the fashion elitists have been diahinf this advice for the past 6 years now, to just rip and toss that abominably distasteful thingie. Thongs were designed to prevent panty lines but worn with very low-cut jeans or pants, the wearer seems to cry out, “I’m available for sex right now.” Butt –cracks peeking out from thongs that peek out from low-cut jeans are screaming “SEX” not sexy. Jeans or pants worn too low are detestable, not stylish…not even cool. Only buffed-up dancers on MTV have the “K “ to be seen wearing that. Oh gee, if you’re not doing anything for MTV, just don’t be caught even dead wearing this. Because if you do while you’re still alive, you really look stupid. Honestly. The self-affirmation shirts that say “I’m a bitch” , “Certified Bitch” , “Beware: I’m a Bitch” or “Skinny Bitch” are the most complex types. If you were, why bother to tell the world you are. Just show you are. And if you want to give them a warning, do you really want to bother? Do you want others to turn back away from you as soon as they see you? Is that what you really care to tell them about? Do you want them to know you more and discover your beauty, grace, wit and intelligence? Or do you just desire to shoo them off and emit such an impression on them that you’re like a virus warning that they need to be so seriously concerned of ? Anatomically speaking, the insides of a bitch are the core of their attitude. A bitch is a terribly angry person that the vile of its ire has intricately carved a niche in her heart ---a heart that’s so fragile that once rubbed, it breaks into shards. And to avoid it from happening, the bitch constantly preserves and defends her turf at the instance the wrong buttons are pushed. Poor bitch. Somebody had made her feel that way. Somebody caused her heart to be aggrieved that she couldn’t overcome. Outside she looks okay, but inside, she’s one wretched hurting little girl. Now she thinks she should be a bitch because she wants to be treated right. Thus she lashes out in defense. Remember, we have to learn that “What the mouth speaks of comes from what’s in the heart”. But does she really want to say she is a bitch and everybody should hate her? Or accept her? No one ever wants to accept arrogance, rudeness and cattiness. They are explicit outputs of anger. So, does a so-called bitch pines for notoriety or just plain acceptance, friendship and love? All I know is that it’s un-cool to wear such type of shirts trying to proclaim to the mighty universe that you are a bitch. Or do you really have to wear that crappy shirts? Or does your countenance and demeanor show it all? But in fashion, please don’t be un-cool. It’s not really cool to wear those “bitchy” shirts unless you want to give out a mixed signal. But when it comes to cellphone, nothing beats the massive qualities of such gizmos to inevitably strike “cool-ness” points. The pricey the cellphone is, the “cool-er” you look. The “cool-er” you are, nothing else matters. But like one acquaintance whom I met during my recent vacation in Davao, he almost have won me over to score him “cool points”. His cellphone was a Samsung and he bragged that it cost him to shell out all his savings to own such—P 20,000.00 (over US$400). His friend, later on, nudged him that they had left something in the house but they needed to call if there’s somebody in there to receive them. The acquaintance asked her , “Tawagan mo na lang ang landline kasi walang cell yung katulong” (Call the landline because the housekeeper doesn't have a cellphone). The girl frowned and said, “Wala akong load. Naubos na. Ikaw na lang tumawag” (I don't have funds, I can't call. My minutes were all used up. Why don't you call?). Then the acquaintance sheepishly bowed his head and in a monotone, he replied, “Wala rin akong load “ (Neither do I have funds). I tried to stifle my grunts and I think I’ve managed because I said, “Bumili na lang kayo ng pang-load nyo para makatawag kayo” (Well, buy your prepaid load now so you can call). As we’ve parted ways, I rushed home thinking that to look cool is to look stupid.

OH HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART?

I had been in love a lot of times. Not only to speak about how many times my heart was broken, in fact my tender heart smashed to smithereens. Good thing, I am way passed the stage of courting and dating and heartbreaking. Marriage in all honesty is not all bliss, but somehow it’s an assurance for me that my husband and I are both working on the same purpose and towards the same direction. Probably because we are already mature enough to tenaciously cling on to our responsibilities and uphold our commitment toward each other.
Anyhow, they say that in order to find your Prince Charming, you must smooch several ugly toads before finding him. Bet you thought that your ex was your prince or your knight-shining-armor, only to realize later he is a freaking yucky frog. But it is too late. He is breaking your heart, stabbing it with a knife, making you bleed extremely, only that you are being left still alive and breathing.
The pain is unceasingly seeping like toxic. The whole world is against your tides. Crashed, shaken and broken that you think you are dying.  It may seem you may gradually gonna bite the dust. However, your heart is still there- still beating and pounding in the same manner your nose is still breathing. So you sulk, mope and blame and wait for the D-day when bombs will explode right on your head. You think this is the only solution. However, you may not know there are a lot of ways to overcome this heart ailment.
I tried these when I was still the fool in love. In love with men who have no balls, and men who have their balls on their dense heads
I tried all these before and they all worked. So you singles-in-love-therefore-brokenhearted, here are some of ways to mend your achy-breaky heart

1)    BAWL  -Inevitably, this must be quite instinctive for those suffering with broken hearts. Therefore, this is chicken. If you start crying, don’t let up until you finally have the resolve to accept your fate. Meanwhile, cry if you must. Though it feels like you’re the only one wallowing in tears, cry until your eyes and face are red and swollen or even more, cry until it feels like you’re expelling your own lungs. Cry a bucket or even cry an ocean. Crying is like a panacea that can exterminate bad feelings that you cannot verbalize. Make this your fete of tears. “It’s your party, so cry if you want to.” Even if you don’t instantaneously feel good after, the crying makes you feel lighter.
2)    GET WASTED.-In other words, don’t be guilty of drinking beer, vodka, tequila or any other liquor. Whether you’re a lightweight or a heavyweight, it doesn’t even  matter now. Drink until you loosen up yourself to talk about it (even to yourself) go frenetic about it or just go wild about it. It may be paltry but drinking can act like morphine enough to make you oblivious to that searing ache for a moment. The only catch is, how you deal it the morning after.
3)    DANCE WITH YOURSELF- If you find yourself alone in your room, mulling over that damn moron, try stopping these thoughts the moment they get into your mind. Plop a CD on the player or listen to your MP3 player or just flick on the dance station on the radio, and go dance with yourself. Dancing in front of a mirror also helps by chanting, “I am pretty, cute, sweet and smart … he is an absolute asshole to jilt me!” Even if you dance no good, hopping, strutting, gyrating or even pounding on the floor may take off some pain. Just ignore the neighbors downstairs. They’re really no help in your predicament.
4)    HAVE A PARTY OF YOUR OWN WITH YOU ALONE- Create a party of your own with only you as the guest alone. Get grooving to party music and have some drinks like tequila or vodka and pretend that this bash is in honor for your own  sacrifices you did for love. Just don’t play music that you both listened to or remind you of him, because it will just move you to wax melancholy. Listen to rock, pop, dance, house or trance instead. Much better than rap, R&B, soul and ballads because they tend to lean more to “lamentations on unrequited love and brokenheartedness”. Upbeat, danceable and happy music songs are more effective in pulling you out of  depression.
5)    TALK IT OUT WITH FRIENDS –Nothing is more heartwarming when friends and buddies lend extra ears and even give out sound pieces of mind. A bunch of supportive people who care about you are the best to keep your pain off bay. Pour out all your sentiments. Just stick it out with friends who don’t judge nor blame you but are there to console you and cheer you up. Better yet, those friends who can fight for you and defend you are the best. One example is how one friend of mine could  bitch about the girl who snatched my ex- boyfriend or how my  friend could say all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t, right onto my ex- boyfriend’s face. I have a friend who came up to my ex-boyfriend’s workplace and said to him, “Ang bagay sa iyo, ibitay ng patiwarik dahil wala kang kwentang tao!”
6)    GIMMICK WITH YOUR FRIENDS- In other words, keep your body and mind busy with friends and activities. Spend more time with them just to keep your mind off from thinking how lonely you could be without him (when in reality you are not lonely at all). Paint the town not only with red but with all the colors you love.  This way, you can meet more friends or who knows, your next girl or guy.
7)    SHOP BOP-Shopping can be therapeutic in fact because you put your emotions on something that is tangible and hence you can utilize and give value on. If you’ve got the bread, shop without guilt. Or try to treat it as a guilty pleasure instead. If you don’t have the money, then window-shop. Make a mental note of what you want to buy the next time. The money that you budget for dates should now be the money you splurge for something you really deserve.
8)    PAMPER YOURSELF- Pampering yourself may be the best since someone treated you badly. It doesn’t only mean you deserve something special but also can be some sort of making you feel loved. Who else should love you first? Of course, yourself. And in retaliation, making him drool with a new you can be sweet revenge. Go to a spa have a facial, (the more sophisticated facials are better since they give you instant visible results), get a massage, have a manicure and a pedicure, or just get a new do or dye/lights. One friend of mine was more extravagant; she had dental implants which cost a total of  $15,000. It gave her a better smile to flash around. No matter how inexpensive or simple it may be, indulging yourself with vanity is universally ego-boosting.
9)    KEEP A JOURNAL-I did this every time a guy disses me. I wrote letters to him daily that I don’t really send or mail to. Instead, I tucked these letters in the pages of my Bible. I would write everyday to him about everything I feel and all the questions I wanted to ask .The feelings might never be conveyed to him and the questions might never be answered, but I felt so much relieved when I wrote those letters. After a week, I reread them and tossed them in the trash. Some people write journals and each day as they recount their emotions and queries candidly with openness. They know they many never be read by anyone else but at least they know someone knows their pain. After a while, they threw their journals into waste. Throwing them means forgetting about them, and stepping to move on forward.
10)     PICK ON HIM- This is the most fun part because you can pick on and mock him without feeling neither accountable nor shamefaced. But do this alone or with someone you really trust. Find faults in him as much as you can and have a blast laughing about them. Laugh at the way he stutters, or the way he dresses up. Poke fun at his failing grades since elementary, or have a blast about his acne-stricken face. Measure up with his academic standing against yours or gauge his achievements at work (if there is any at all). Put him on the scales how can he make you better. Weigh him on his assets and liabilities. I am sure breaking your heart is one big loss he terribly ever has. And as clear as ice, he is one dang frigging a----hole who won’t give you pain once but twice or thrice in the future.
11)     PRAY –There is no other greater healing of your pain than coming straight to God in prayer---pouring out your bare soul and supplicating earnestly His power to help you overcome the aches that burden your heart. True, you will never have your guy back or worse, you may not find anyone like him because there is someone better than him. The most important thing, God made you overcome through it. You may feel unloved but God loves you all the more and you may feel that you’re the loneliest soul on this planet however, you have a true friend in God. “Come to me all of you who are tired and weary and I will give you rest….For the yoke I will give you is easy and the load I will put on you is light”. Take heed for God has prepared greater things for you. You may not know that God is working on the right man for you, but He is. In the meantime, work on yourself too, because in God’s own time, he will let you meet each other and let you both together for the rest of your lives.

If All of the Snowflakes are Chocolates and Milkshakes

This morning, I overslept. A total of 12 hours. I definitely slept like a baby, so did  my Lovey.  I woke up around 10 a.m. The whole room was still so dark. I opened the blinds but still it was dark ….and worse, pouring. “This is gonna be a yucky day. “
I still felt sleepy, so I cuddled up in my comforter and snoozed for about 15 more minutes. Then I remembered Lovey has an 11:30 voice lesson. “Baby, wake up…it’s already 10:20.”
I bolted right up from the bed and dashed to the bathroom. I turned on the water and whew! Gee, it’s freaking cold. Then I dashed to the kitchen. I realized the heater wasn’t even on. Oh my gosh, the whole house was freezing. I looked at the outside temperature, and it read 42 degrees F , which is 5 degrees Celsius (the Philippines use the metric system).
Hey, this is really autumn now. Actually, autumn started last September 22, but  everyone was still holding on to summer as much as they could with  the temperatures also cooperating. An average of 60 degrees Fahrenheit was “a nice day “ for everyone. Not hot, not humid, nor chilly. I could still wear sleeveless shirts with just a light corduroy jacket (fall/autumn trend is corduroy). There was a week of endless rain but nothing is worth considered to call for tights  or coats or downs.
Suddenly, it dawned on me that temperatures inevitably drop and drop and dip and dip as usual every year. To reiterate, I detest the cold weather but I gotta learn to live with it. Because, this is also where my home is. However, each time this season unfolds to my world, I dread it.
Although, I know nothing abnormal nor dangerous would be stringing along with me with what Mother Nature’s dictates, I am proud to admit I now learned to enjoy it somehow.
As I looked outside our windows, I began to notice that autumn has its own share of a grandiose sight. Leaves turn red, orange, burgundy, yellow, purple and even to my favorite color, pink. In the Philippines, I could never enjoy such a splendor like these.
And maybe next week, it will snow. I don’t know but it will possibly happen. If snow comes and precipitates, I would just take my sled and go around the backyard and go sledding. And when winter comes, maybe Lovey and I could book a ski resort to go skiing and snowboarding. Oh my gosh, how I looovveee that!
But since going to a ski-resort is such an expensive thrill, I might as well go outside our house and sing. “If all of the snowflakes are chocolates and milkshakes , oh what a snow that could be…standing outside with my mouth open wide…ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah…” Mmmmm….that’s absolutely yummy. And probably, if snowflakes are really chocolates and milkshakes,  I might begin to anticipate for the coming of the  cold season with  more excitement and pleasure.